The cognitive distortion for today is blaming. Blaming is when we hold other people accountable for our feelings.
A blaming statement might sound like: 😡 “You got a promotion and I didn’t. You getting this job makes me feel bad about myself!”.
No one “makes” us feel any particular way. Even though sometimes it feels that way. Our feelings are a reflection of our internal world, experiences, beliefs, and trauma. 🧠 Even so- for our own emotional intelligence and health- we should aim to have control over our emotions and emotional responses.
Blaming might also sound like a chronic pattern of blaming ourselves. When things go wrong, we might think “Things always go wrong when I’m involved. I’m always the problem.”
Persistent blaming can also be an indicator of emotional abuse. 😢 Talk to your therapist if you or someone you know has shown a pattern of consistently placing blame for their feelings on others.
When I started posting here I had no expectations for what might come of this page, I just wanted to share information that might be helpful.
Even as an experienced therapist, I definitely experience impostor syndrome and have to remind myself that I deserve the success I’m seeing in my life, both personally and professionally.
Impostor syndrome is an internal experience where someone doubts their accomplishments and has feelings of not being good enough, smart enough, or “real enough". 😓
Despite any evidence to the contrary, those experiencing this phenomenon remain convinced that they do not deserve what they have achieved. People with this experience (most frequently studied in high achieving women) incorrectly attribute their success to luck, or as a result of deceiving others into thinking they are more intelligent than they perceive themselves to be.
Anyone out there struggle with the experience of impostor syndrome? I promise you’re not alone! 💕
Radical acceptance means that you look upon yourself, others, and the world in an entirely new way.
You must be willing to let go of your ideas about how the world “should be” and simply accept things the way that they are in the present moment. When you radically accept something, you are completely releasing judgment of it and avoiding any attempts to fight against or change it.
When you are able accept a painful reality, your thoughts, emotions, physical sensations and attitude all shift to make room for you to fully experience your present reality. This shift creates the opportunity and ability for change.
As Carl Rogers once said, 'The curious paradox is when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.'
To practice radical acceptance, we need to:
1. Accept what is ☀️
2. Realize what we can control and what we can't
3. Look at our situation from a nonjudgmental perspective 👓
4. Acknowledge the facts of our situation 📚
5. Learn how to live in the present moment despite our pain
Curious about radical acceptance? Reach out!