blaming

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The cognitive distortion for today is blaming. Blaming is when we hold other people accountable for our feelings. 

A blaming statement might sound like: 😡 “You got a promotion and I didn’t. You getting this job makes me feel bad about myself!”.

No one “makes” us feel any particular way. Even though sometimes it feels that way. Our feelings are a reflection of our internal world, experiences, beliefs, and trauma. 🧠 Even so- for our own emotional intelligence and health- we should aim to have control over our emotions and emotional responses. 

Blaming might also sound like a chronic pattern of blaming ourselves. When things go wrong, we might think “Things always go wrong when I’m involved. I’m always the problem.” 

Persistent blaming can also be an indicator of emotional abuse. 😢 Talk to your therapist if you or someone you know has shown a pattern of consistently placing blame for their feelings on others.