Tips for Reducing Technology Usage
By Paula Suhr, LPC
I started playing video games when I was five-years-old, but it wasn’t until college that they almost ruined my life. My parents were divorcing at the same time I was ending an emotionally abusive relationship, and I wasn’t sure if I was going to have a place to live. I was a commuter student at a university where 80% of students lived on campus, and I felt alone, adrift, and powerless. Until I started online gaming.
At the suggestion of a classmate, I tried an online multiplayer role-playing game that was hosted out of Sweden. I quickly met other players and made new friends. With their help, I completed quests and advanced my characters. After a few months, I went from player to creator and learned to code detailed areas. I designed special weapons and armor for the game. I felt popular, talented, and successful. I could literally control the world where I spent most of my time.
Meanwhile, IRL my GPA had dropped from a 4.0 to a 1.6 because I was spending all of my free time gaming and coding. I fell asleep in a Calculus final and woke up all alone in a lecture hall, lights off, drool crusted across the desk. I almost lost my scholarship, which for me would’ve meant not finishing my degree. “Why didn’t you tell me you were struggling?” my advisor asked. All I could do was shrug.
I managed to pull myself out of that hole, but it involved a long break from gaming and taking 21 credits my last couple of semesters in order to graduate. A hard lesson learned, I told myself. So imagine my dismay to find myself addicted to social media years later. The last decade has been a tug of war between me and my devices, involving a lot of reading, research, and trial and error, but I think (I hope!) I finally have my technology usage where I want it.
When I sat down to write this post it was called “Ten Tips for Reducing Technology Usage” but the list ballooned into almost twenty tips. Here are the first few. Look for the others in follow-up posts over the coming weeks.
1. Stop shaming yourself.
The average American unlocks their phone over 80 times per day and spends over 4 hours a day using it. Tech companies have spent billions of dollars figuring out exactly how to get you hooked on their products. You’re not weak for being susceptible to their tactics–you’re human. When you consider the suggestions below, try to do it with curiosity, not judgment. Most people do not find beating themselves up to be helpful.
2. Track your usage.
Being able to see your progress causes brain changes that reinforce behavior, and that requires knowing where you’re starting from. Android phones come with an app called Digital Wellbeing and iPhones users can use the Screen Time function under the settings menu. If you spend time on several different devices,
check out the app StayFree that will track screen time across operating systems or make a paper log and keep a rough estimate. If the thought of doing this fills you with dread, note that this is just data–it’s useful information. The reason you’re collecting it is because you want to make a change, and change is hard. Be proud of yourself for taking this step!
3. Differentiate between healthy and unhealthy usage
The time you spend on screens is not the whole story. There’s a difference between 2 hours of screen time that involves putting in your grocery order, emailing a friend, and listening to a podcast while cleaning and 2 hours scrolling shorts where you don’t even remember what you watched. A lot of people will tell you to downgrade to a “dumb phone” if you want to cut back on screen time, but if you do that you lose out on all the ways smart phones are actually helpful. I’ve learned to use my phone as a tool, not a crutch, and I think you can too.
4. Reflect on how technology is meeting your emotional needs. For many people, overuse of technology is either meeting an emotional need or it’s become a deeply ingrained habit after a period where it was used to meet an emotional need. I’ll talk about the habit side of things in a future post, but for right now ask yourself if your technology is making you feel less lonely. Ask yourself if you thrive on the validation that comes from seeing your posts get likes and replies. Ask yourself if you reach for your phone the second you feel bored, stressed, sad, or ashamed. If you’re a gamer, ask yourself if you might be leaning into virtual accomplishments or fun fantasy worlds to avoid facing real world struggles. And again, no judgment–this is all just about gathering data.
5. Consider whether there are alternate ways to better meet those needs. I never returned to online gaming, but now I build community through volunteer work and talking to neighbors. I feel accomplished by writing, kayaking, and trying new activities like archery. I absolutely still avoid painful emotions sometimes, but I try to do that by going for walks, meditating, or hanging out with my cat. There’s nothing wrong with using technology for productivity, recreation, or to build and nurture genuine friendships, but is that what you’re doing? What are some other ways you could feel connected, peaceful, successful, or in control of your life?
6. Related–reflect on what you’re sacrificing.
It’s hard to simply stop doing a thing. It’s a lot easier to substitute in something else, which is why so many people trade one addiction for another. But what if you could substitute in a meaningful activity? If your whole life feels like school/work and chores, go back to #2 and ask yourself what you would rather be doing with those hours of screen time. Imagine yourself at age 80 saying “I wish I had spent more time ______.” Look for opportunities to move toward activities that nourish you or provide meaning, not just ones that feel good or distract you for a few minutes. In therapist talk, we call these values-driven activities. For more information on values, check out this Brene Brown activity.
If you feel comfortable, share one activity in the comments that you would do more of if you could reduce your technology usage.
